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“Oh, good -- then you’ll fit right in!”For Jews, the deity is YHWH. For UU’s, it’s YMMV (Your Mileage May Vary).There was a terrible car accident. A woman was lying in the street, covered in blood. Someone in the crowd shouted, “Call a priest!”The woman opened her eyes and said, “I’m a Unitarian.”“Then call a math teacher!”HOW MANY (xxxxxx) DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB?Anglicans: 8. One to call the electrician and 7 to say how much they liked the old one better.Charismatics: Only one.. ” “How much I care about John is the same as how Carl cares about you. Carl’s your best friend ain’t he? I know you have your issues, but think about what it’s like for Carl. You know, Jim, it sucks so much when you see your friend in trouble and you can’t help. In fact, it hurts. That’s what I feel with John, and that’s what Carl feels with you.” Johnson sighed. His gaze drifted from William to the floor then back to William again. “You know how awkward it is, having you guilt-trip. The voices in my head agreed ... keep moving.Getting the crew together, I put it to them.“I’m getting weird...” I started.“You can say that again,” from one of the girls. And everybody nodded.“As I was saying, I’m getting weird FEELINGS about the trip. You are college students. You should be learning to think. I want to put it to a vote. Keep going or go back. The question is open for discussion.”“Ooo ... you’re serious.”“I am ... forward or back. What say you?”Arguments were presented on both. Trapped. His fingertips traced my body from my lips, down my collarbone, around each breast, and each nipple. Even though I still had my top on, I could feel his nails brush against them. His fingers continued down my sides, around my bellybutton, and when they reached the bottom of my shirt, he ripped. My favorite shirt was shredded in half. Tears flowed down my cheeks but I still could not move. He laughed and flicked a nail over my exposed nipple. I shuddered in response, not admitting I.
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